By Justin Pinkerman
If you've ever had to fire someone, reject a request for a raise, or give a negative performance review, then you have firsthand knowledge of the stresses surrounding difficult conversations. These conversations are filled with tension, tend to be emotional, and threaten to blow up if the wrong words are chosen. Anticipating the unpleasantness, we are tempted to handle them indirectly or avoid them altogether. However, as author Holly Weeks writes, "dodging issues, appeasing difficult people, and ignoring antagonisms is costly for managers and companies alike." In her article, "Taking the Stress Out of Stressful Conversations," Ms. Weeks gives instruction on navigating difficult conversations. Her advice is immensely valuable for leaders facing tough talks.
KEYS TO NAVIGATING TOUGH TALKS
1) Clarity
In an effort to soften the blow, some leaders mislead difficult conversations and unintentionally create confusion. For instance, to avoid seeming overly stern, a leader may adopt a friendly, non-confrontational tone while attempting to deliver a sharp and serious message. The mismatch between the leader's posture and the leader's talking points leaves the listener feeling confused.
At other times, leaders simply talk around problems or euphemize to the extent that their core message loses its meaning. When initiating difficult conversations, a leader should use honest and direct language. Although it may not seem easy, clarity will help to facilitate resolution of the problematic conversation.
Preparation Tip: Before the conversation, write down the brief content of your message and devise a strategy for delivering it.
2) Neutrality
Difficult conversations serve as emotional pressure cookers. When personal grudges and past injuries exist, a tough talk may unleash a torrent of anger and hurt. A leader must stay neutral and refuse to allow negative emotions to derail a difficult conversation.
While you cannot control the emotions of the person you're speaking to, you can make an effort to defuse them. Monitor your nonverbal messaging by adopting calm facial expressions, body language, and voice intonation. A poised demeanor goes a long way in draining the negative emotion out of a challenging conversation.
Preparation Tip: Before the conversation, take mental inventory of the mannerisms you adopt when angered. Awareness beforehand will help you to avoid provoking your listener with negative nonverbal signs in the heat of the moment.
3) Temperance
Avoid escalating a difficult conversation by moderating the use of extreme language. When speaking, phrase your ideas with words that convey your intent with respect. Heed the words of Wendell Johnson: "Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use."
Preparation Tip: Role-play a difficult conversation with a friend to rehearse your lines. Although it may seem awkward, it's the best preparation for a tough talk.
7 Reasons Why Speakers Flop
By Mark Sanborn
Few qualities create a more vivid impression of a leader than the ability to speak in public. The higher a leader rises within an organization, the more frequently she is called upon to address others. Ironically, hapless leaders are offered little or no training to develop their speaking skills. A fortunate few ooze natural communication talents, but the vast majority must labor to sharpen their speaking skills of else suffer from their deficiency.
As a professional who makes his living giving speeches and seminars, I have sat through hundreds, if not thousands, of executive presentations. Most of the speeches I have heard (or endured) have been less than memorable. Far too often, the presentations have been painful, not only for the speaker, but also for the audience trying to feign interest.
The majority of presenters, even those who flopped dramatically, were well-intentioned. They had a message they believed was relevant, or a passion they were eager to share. Moreover, they stood to gain something, whether support, respect, or credibility, by delivering a masterful presentation. Clearly, nobody sets out to destroy his reputation with a mind-numbing speech. Why, then, do communicators fail so miserably when they have every incentive to excel?
Thoughts and emotions require technique to be successfully communicated. Consider putting in golf. Without technique, it doesn't matter how brilliantly you wish to hit the golf ball, or how shrewdly you've accounted for the slope of the green and the speed of the putting surface. In the end, only good form and practiced skill allow you to consistently make great shots. Public speaking is no different.
Public speaking, like any skill, must be developed. The more often you speak, the better you become — IF you learn from your mistakes. The fastest gains to improve your speaking ability come when you eliminate potential sources of disaster. While I've observed great creativity in flopping a speech, there are seven common reasons why speakers fail.
1. A disregard for time
Long-windedness — speaking beyond the allotted time — may be the easiest way to alienate an audience. Strangely enough, it seems to be epidemic among business leaders. Speaking overly long is rude and smacks of arrogance and self-importance. It suggests to the audience that the speaker values his presentation greater than the time of his listeners or anything else on the program.
The length of a speech shouldn't be a function of title or power, but a function of how long a person has agreed to talk. Start on time and stop on time. Not only will your audience respect you for it, but also you will demonstrate respect for your audience.
2. Unclear purpose
Here's the million-dollar question of any presentation: What's the point?
I'm puzzled by the number of leaders who ramble through a speech without saying anything of substance. I'm equally dismayed by the number of leaders who cram 21 bullet points into a 30-minute presentation. Communicators frustrate people when they rattle off reams of information without pointing the way to practical application. If you cannot identify a concise, worthwhile purpose for the presentation, you probably shouldn't be making it.
Design your speech the way the pros do. Begin by asking, "At the end of this presentation, what do I want listeners to think, feel, and do?" Good presenters speak to the head, the heart, and the hands.
3. Inadequate preparation
There is no excuse for "winging it." The best speakers are borderline neurotic in their preparation--even if their demeanor suggests otherwise. Presenters who come across as brilliantly unscripted likely spent hours practicing in order to appear "off the cuff."
If you paid for a ticket to a Broadway show where none of the actors had practiced in advance, you would demand your money back. Too bad the audiences of executive leaders don't get the same privilege. Each speech is a transaction. Your listeners are paying attention, and you owe them a worthwhile presentation in return.
4. Failure to capture attention
The scarcest resource in the world used to be time; today it is attention. The average listener is bombarded with messages from many different sources. From email to radio to voicemail to cell phones, everybody is trying to tell us something, and your attempt to give a speech is just one more bombardment.
Your content and delivery had better grab the audience's attention right out of the shoot. You don't have the luxury of "warming up" your audience. Hit them square between the eyes with something that will break their preoccupation with the thousands of other stimuli clamoring for their attention.
Most importantly, make your remarks relevant. Postmoderns are less interested with the question "Is it true?" and more interested in the question "How does it affect me?" Yes, you need to be intellectually honest to prove your points, but never forget to demonstrate that your message matters to the listener.
5. Pomposity
Ego-driven leaders are more concerned with what followers think about them than with what followers do because of them. Rather than influencing their listeners, pompous leaders attempt to impress the audience. In doing so, they manipulate rather than inspire.
A preoccupation with self is deadly to a communicator. Self-absorbed leaders speak in order to get their needs met rather than to meet the needs of the audience. Unfortunately for speakers, audiences are quick to pick up the scent of a pompous communicator and they will tune out any presenter perceived as arrogant.
6. Boredom
Today's audiences are filled with people who were raised on MTV. This generation spent its formative years watching music videos that contained 150 images in the course of a minute. For them, watching a talking head is about as stimulating as staring at a blank computer screen.
A speaker who entertains never fully flops. Don't get me wrong: entertainment by itself is not a worthwhile goal for an executive presenter, but is sure beats the alternative, which is to be boring. For a speaker, the value of entertainment comes from its ability to mentally engage listeners. I've found the best way to educate is to slip good ideas in on the wings of entertainment.
Great restaurants know that the presentation of cuisine is as important as its preparation. Speakers would be wise to take note: presentation and perception go hand-in-hand. The best communicators use the sizzle to sell the steak.
7. False endings
I've seen the following scenario play out hundreds of times. A speaker starts to conclude, even tells the audience of her intent, and then tells a pithy, witty story. The audience responds favorably, and the speaker gets a rush. "Wow, they liked that. I've got an even better story," she thinks to herself. And then she ends again with another story/quote/challenge. Like a junkie in search of another fix, the speaker keeps ending until there is no positive response, but rather visible signs of disgust. By then, it is too late to recover.
Conclude concisely. Each false ending weakens the message in front of it. A simple rule to remember: good endings only happen once.
Summary
The beginning of excellence is the elimination of foolishness. You can ramp up your speaking performance by analyzing your last presentation with these seven questions:
Did I stick to my allotted time?
Did I develop and present purposefully?
Was I thoroughly prepared?
Did I capture attention at the very beginning?
Did I positively influence listeners?
Was I appropriately entertaining, or at least not boring?
Did I end only once?
An affirmative answer to each question virtually guarantees that your next presentation won't be a flop. Not only will your communication be flop-proof, but you will likely be perceived as an articulate and effective speaker.
Few qualities create a more vivid impression of a leader than the ability to speak in public. The higher a leader rises within an organization, the more frequently she is called upon to address others. Ironically, hapless leaders are offered little or no training to develop their speaking skills. A fortunate few ooze natural communication talents, but the vast majority must labor to sharpen their speaking skills of else suffer from their deficiency.
As a professional who makes his living giving speeches and seminars, I have sat through hundreds, if not thousands, of executive presentations. Most of the speeches I have heard (or endured) have been less than memorable. Far too often, the presentations have been painful, not only for the speaker, but also for the audience trying to feign interest.
The majority of presenters, even those who flopped dramatically, were well-intentioned. They had a message they believed was relevant, or a passion they were eager to share. Moreover, they stood to gain something, whether support, respect, or credibility, by delivering a masterful presentation. Clearly, nobody sets out to destroy his reputation with a mind-numbing speech. Why, then, do communicators fail so miserably when they have every incentive to excel?
Thoughts and emotions require technique to be successfully communicated. Consider putting in golf. Without technique, it doesn't matter how brilliantly you wish to hit the golf ball, or how shrewdly you've accounted for the slope of the green and the speed of the putting surface. In the end, only good form and practiced skill allow you to consistently make great shots. Public speaking is no different.
Public speaking, like any skill, must be developed. The more often you speak, the better you become — IF you learn from your mistakes. The fastest gains to improve your speaking ability come when you eliminate potential sources of disaster. While I've observed great creativity in flopping a speech, there are seven common reasons why speakers fail.
1. A disregard for time
Long-windedness — speaking beyond the allotted time — may be the easiest way to alienate an audience. Strangely enough, it seems to be epidemic among business leaders. Speaking overly long is rude and smacks of arrogance and self-importance. It suggests to the audience that the speaker values his presentation greater than the time of his listeners or anything else on the program.
The length of a speech shouldn't be a function of title or power, but a function of how long a person has agreed to talk. Start on time and stop on time. Not only will your audience respect you for it, but also you will demonstrate respect for your audience.
2. Unclear purpose
Here's the million-dollar question of any presentation: What's the point?
I'm puzzled by the number of leaders who ramble through a speech without saying anything of substance. I'm equally dismayed by the number of leaders who cram 21 bullet points into a 30-minute presentation. Communicators frustrate people when they rattle off reams of information without pointing the way to practical application. If you cannot identify a concise, worthwhile purpose for the presentation, you probably shouldn't be making it.
Design your speech the way the pros do. Begin by asking, "At the end of this presentation, what do I want listeners to think, feel, and do?" Good presenters speak to the head, the heart, and the hands.
3. Inadequate preparation
There is no excuse for "winging it." The best speakers are borderline neurotic in their preparation--even if their demeanor suggests otherwise. Presenters who come across as brilliantly unscripted likely spent hours practicing in order to appear "off the cuff."
If you paid for a ticket to a Broadway show where none of the actors had practiced in advance, you would demand your money back. Too bad the audiences of executive leaders don't get the same privilege. Each speech is a transaction. Your listeners are paying attention, and you owe them a worthwhile presentation in return.
4. Failure to capture attention
The scarcest resource in the world used to be time; today it is attention. The average listener is bombarded with messages from many different sources. From email to radio to voicemail to cell phones, everybody is trying to tell us something, and your attempt to give a speech is just one more bombardment.
Your content and delivery had better grab the audience's attention right out of the shoot. You don't have the luxury of "warming up" your audience. Hit them square between the eyes with something that will break their preoccupation with the thousands of other stimuli clamoring for their attention.
Most importantly, make your remarks relevant. Postmoderns are less interested with the question "Is it true?" and more interested in the question "How does it affect me?" Yes, you need to be intellectually honest to prove your points, but never forget to demonstrate that your message matters to the listener.
5. Pomposity
Ego-driven leaders are more concerned with what followers think about them than with what followers do because of them. Rather than influencing their listeners, pompous leaders attempt to impress the audience. In doing so, they manipulate rather than inspire.
A preoccupation with self is deadly to a communicator. Self-absorbed leaders speak in order to get their needs met rather than to meet the needs of the audience. Unfortunately for speakers, audiences are quick to pick up the scent of a pompous communicator and they will tune out any presenter perceived as arrogant.
6. Boredom
Today's audiences are filled with people who were raised on MTV. This generation spent its formative years watching music videos that contained 150 images in the course of a minute. For them, watching a talking head is about as stimulating as staring at a blank computer screen.
A speaker who entertains never fully flops. Don't get me wrong: entertainment by itself is not a worthwhile goal for an executive presenter, but is sure beats the alternative, which is to be boring. For a speaker, the value of entertainment comes from its ability to mentally engage listeners. I've found the best way to educate is to slip good ideas in on the wings of entertainment.
Great restaurants know that the presentation of cuisine is as important as its preparation. Speakers would be wise to take note: presentation and perception go hand-in-hand. The best communicators use the sizzle to sell the steak.
7. False endings
I've seen the following scenario play out hundreds of times. A speaker starts to conclude, even tells the audience of her intent, and then tells a pithy, witty story. The audience responds favorably, and the speaker gets a rush. "Wow, they liked that. I've got an even better story," she thinks to herself. And then she ends again with another story/quote/challenge. Like a junkie in search of another fix, the speaker keeps ending until there is no positive response, but rather visible signs of disgust. By then, it is too late to recover.
Conclude concisely. Each false ending weakens the message in front of it. A simple rule to remember: good endings only happen once.
Summary
The beginning of excellence is the elimination of foolishness. You can ramp up your speaking performance by analyzing your last presentation with these seven questions:
Did I stick to my allotted time?
Did I develop and present purposefully?
Was I thoroughly prepared?
Did I capture attention at the very beginning?
Did I positively influence listeners?
Was I appropriately entertaining, or at least not boring?
Did I end only once?
An affirmative answer to each question virtually guarantees that your next presentation won't be a flop. Not only will your communication be flop-proof, but you will likely be perceived as an articulate and effective speaker.
Leading in a Climate of Fear: How to Take the Reins during a Recession
By Justin Pinkerman
Have you ever gone through a haunted house? I once visited one that was so frightening I was required to sign a waiver before entering. Terrifying doesn't even begin to describe the experience. Grotesque figures to make your skin crawl, ghoulish creatures lurking in the darkness, maniacal laughter and blood-curdling screams - this one had it all. I even had a live rat dangled in front of my face. Needless to say, I never intend to go back nor do I recommend haunted houses to anyone.
The way news outlets sensationalize the present economic turmoil, I almost feel as if I'm back inside the haunted house. Broadcasts walk me through the cobwebs of foreclosed homes, parade me past the tombstones of Lehman Brothers and Bear Stearns, and invoke the ghosts of the Great Depression. Images of deathly pale stock traders spook me into despairing for my 401k. I am told debt prowls in the shadows, and warned about the grisly fate of America's future.
Likening these economic times to a house of horrors is overly dramatic, but today's market does share a common bond with a haunted house: the power to elicit fear. In the present hour, leaders must step forward to alleviate apprehensions and forestall panic. Let's look at the qualities that must be demonstrated to lead during a downturn.
1) Visible Presence
In times of uncertainty and fear, people look to leaders more than ever. They need assurance that someone is working on their behalf and rallying to their cause. In the aftermath of 9/11, Rudy Giuliani was ubiquitous in New York City. Whether conducting news conferences, attending memorial ceremonies, or directing public officials, Giuliani's presence sent a message of resilience and recovery. His demeanor seemed to symbolize the mood of the Big Apple - tough, courageous, and undeterred.
Sixty years before September 11th, Americans endured tragedy at Pearl Harbor. Our nation's leader, President Franklin Roosevelt took the mantle of leading Americans as the United States entered the Second World War. As he had done during the Great Depression, Roosevelt made his presence felt through his famous fireside chats. At a time when few Americans had television, Roosevelt entered into their homes over the airwaves to calm fears and address the threats facing the country.
2) Clear Communication
Aside from making his presence felt, President Roosevelt's fireside chats gave a unifying message to all Americans. While affirming that times were tough and sacrifice was needed, Roosevelt clearly communicated that America was up to the challenge. FDR understood that fear festers in silence. That's why he faced it head-on through his famous quotation: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself."
3) Credible Hope
"Leaders," said Napoleon, "are dealers in hope." During tumultuous times, leaders must cut through the gloom and doom with rays of light. When stocks drop and layoffs soar, people are moved toward fear, and they are tempted to look at worst-case scenarios. In these moments, leaders must point people to a brighter tomorrow in order to counteract the destructive emotions of fear.
When introducing hope, leaders should be careful to avoid speaking in abstract terms. Hope should be mixed with substance. Before people can see the light at the end of the tunnel, they need to be confident they are walking through the darkness in the right direction. Along with optimism, leaders must offer a concrete action plan to arrive at a better tomorrow.
4) Difficult Decision-Making
During a recession, leaders inevitably arrive at unenviable decisions such as scuttling popular projects or reducing payroll. Time and again, they must make tough calls that affect the livelihoods of their people and partners. Author Tim Elmore advises leaders to take the following actions when making difficult decisions:
Accept tough calls as a requirement of leadership (influence comes with the weight of responsibility and that weight is heavier in hard times)
Do your homework (avoid make panicked choices; think them through)
Seek counsel
Set a deadline (don't delay what is difficult; confront hard choices)
Understand the emotions of making a tough call (some decisions involve pain; prepare for the hurt and find safe havens to express it).
5) Personal Renewal
For inhabitants of war-torn neighborhoods in Iraq, fear is a frequent companion. As coalition forces attempt to stem violence in the country, politicians speak of the ongoing effort to win the "hearts and minds" of the Iraqi people. Their rhetoric has merit. Heartfelt support and intellectual consent from Iraqis is surely essential to rebuilding the nation.
However, before leaders can capture "hearts and minds," they must master their own thoughts and emotions. A climate of fear takes a heavy toll on those leading the way. At a time when efforts must be redoubled just to stay afloat, leaders naturally run low on energy. After making a series of agonizing decisions, leaders may be tempted to succumb to toxic thoughts of hopelessness and frustration.
When surrounded by turmoil and confusion, leaders, more than ever, must carve out quality time with loved ones, draw upon their faith, and seek beauty in art and nature. These activities serve as reservoirs of peace and renewal. Unless leaders are regularly re-energized, they will lack the strength to fend off the grip of fear in their organization.
Have you ever gone through a haunted house? I once visited one that was so frightening I was required to sign a waiver before entering. Terrifying doesn't even begin to describe the experience. Grotesque figures to make your skin crawl, ghoulish creatures lurking in the darkness, maniacal laughter and blood-curdling screams - this one had it all. I even had a live rat dangled in front of my face. Needless to say, I never intend to go back nor do I recommend haunted houses to anyone.
The way news outlets sensationalize the present economic turmoil, I almost feel as if I'm back inside the haunted house. Broadcasts walk me through the cobwebs of foreclosed homes, parade me past the tombstones of Lehman Brothers and Bear Stearns, and invoke the ghosts of the Great Depression. Images of deathly pale stock traders spook me into despairing for my 401k. I am told debt prowls in the shadows, and warned about the grisly fate of America's future.
Likening these economic times to a house of horrors is overly dramatic, but today's market does share a common bond with a haunted house: the power to elicit fear. In the present hour, leaders must step forward to alleviate apprehensions and forestall panic. Let's look at the qualities that must be demonstrated to lead during a downturn.
1) Visible Presence
In times of uncertainty and fear, people look to leaders more than ever. They need assurance that someone is working on their behalf and rallying to their cause. In the aftermath of 9/11, Rudy Giuliani was ubiquitous in New York City. Whether conducting news conferences, attending memorial ceremonies, or directing public officials, Giuliani's presence sent a message of resilience and recovery. His demeanor seemed to symbolize the mood of the Big Apple - tough, courageous, and undeterred.
Sixty years before September 11th, Americans endured tragedy at Pearl Harbor. Our nation's leader, President Franklin Roosevelt took the mantle of leading Americans as the United States entered the Second World War. As he had done during the Great Depression, Roosevelt made his presence felt through his famous fireside chats. At a time when few Americans had television, Roosevelt entered into their homes over the airwaves to calm fears and address the threats facing the country.
2) Clear Communication
Aside from making his presence felt, President Roosevelt's fireside chats gave a unifying message to all Americans. While affirming that times were tough and sacrifice was needed, Roosevelt clearly communicated that America was up to the challenge. FDR understood that fear festers in silence. That's why he faced it head-on through his famous quotation: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself."
3) Credible Hope
"Leaders," said Napoleon, "are dealers in hope." During tumultuous times, leaders must cut through the gloom and doom with rays of light. When stocks drop and layoffs soar, people are moved toward fear, and they are tempted to look at worst-case scenarios. In these moments, leaders must point people to a brighter tomorrow in order to counteract the destructive emotions of fear.
When introducing hope, leaders should be careful to avoid speaking in abstract terms. Hope should be mixed with substance. Before people can see the light at the end of the tunnel, they need to be confident they are walking through the darkness in the right direction. Along with optimism, leaders must offer a concrete action plan to arrive at a better tomorrow.
4) Difficult Decision-Making
During a recession, leaders inevitably arrive at unenviable decisions such as scuttling popular projects or reducing payroll. Time and again, they must make tough calls that affect the livelihoods of their people and partners. Author Tim Elmore advises leaders to take the following actions when making difficult decisions:
Accept tough calls as a requirement of leadership (influence comes with the weight of responsibility and that weight is heavier in hard times)
Do your homework (avoid make panicked choices; think them through)
Seek counsel
Set a deadline (don't delay what is difficult; confront hard choices)
Understand the emotions of making a tough call (some decisions involve pain; prepare for the hurt and find safe havens to express it).
5) Personal Renewal
For inhabitants of war-torn neighborhoods in Iraq, fear is a frequent companion. As coalition forces attempt to stem violence in the country, politicians speak of the ongoing effort to win the "hearts and minds" of the Iraqi people. Their rhetoric has merit. Heartfelt support and intellectual consent from Iraqis is surely essential to rebuilding the nation.
However, before leaders can capture "hearts and minds," they must master their own thoughts and emotions. A climate of fear takes a heavy toll on those leading the way. At a time when efforts must be redoubled just to stay afloat, leaders naturally run low on energy. After making a series of agonizing decisions, leaders may be tempted to succumb to toxic thoughts of hopelessness and frustration.
When surrounded by turmoil and confusion, leaders, more than ever, must carve out quality time with loved ones, draw upon their faith, and seek beauty in art and nature. These activities serve as reservoirs of peace and renewal. Unless leaders are regularly re-energized, they will lack the strength to fend off the grip of fear in their organization.
Why the Best Leaders Are the Best Leaders
By Dr. John C. Maxwell
From 1996 to 2007, manager Joe Torre led the New York Yankees to the playoffs every year - winning an astounding 17 series in the post-season. Over those same 12 years, the Los Angeles Dodgers did not win a single playoff series. This past season, Torre departed New York to coach the Dodgers. The result? The Dodgers won their first post-season series in 20 years, while the Yankees missed the playoffs altogether.
Ask Yankees and Dodgers fans, and they will tell you that Joe Torre's leadership matters. However, they may not be able to tell you exactly why Joe Torre is an excellent leader. What's true of the fans in New York and Los Angeles is true for many of us. We experience the effects of leadership without understanding the cause.
In this article, I hope to make plain why the best leaders are the best leaders. In a nutshell, remarkable leaders give their best to their people, and get the best from their people. Let's look at how this happens.
The Best Leaders Give Their Best to Their People By...
1) GROWING
People naturally follow leaders they respect as being more advanced than they are. For this reason, personal growth is directly proportional to influence. If you desire to gain followers, then pay the price of getting better.
To give people your best, you have to elevate your leadership capacity. Consider the metaphor of walking up a narrow staircase - you can only go as fast as the person in front of you. When leaders stop growing, they quit climbing and impede the progress of everyone following them. However, when leaders grow, they ascend the stairs and create space for those behind them to climb higher.
Personal growth involves challenging yourself, and pushing beyond the realm of comfort. When is the last time you did something for the first time? How long has it been since you felt in over your head?
2) SERVING
"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile."
~ Albert Einstein
Serving others is an attitude issue. Unfortunately, many leaders operate under a king-of-the-hill mentality. They attempt to pull down anyone above them in order to secure the top spot for themselves. In doing so, they clutch at power, grapple for control of company resources, and strive to dominate others. Seeing relationships as win-lose propositions, they ultimately burn bridges and isolate themselves.
The best leaders take an entirely different approach. Rather than dragging down anyone who threatens their position, they extend a hand to lift the performance of teammates and coworkers. They function with a mindset of abundance as opposed to an attitude of scarcity, and they wield their influence to prop others up rather than to elevate themselves. Over time, they are honored for the contributions they have made to the lives around them.
All leaders serve. Sadly, some serve only themselves. Serving is a motives issue, and the crux of the matter boils down to a simple question: "Who?" Does a politician serve the public or his pocketbook? Does a CEO serve to benefit her shareholders or to support her lifestyle? The best leaders set a tone by serving and prove they are deserving of being out in front.
3) MODELING
Growing leaders have something to share; serving leaders have something to give; modeling leaders have something to show. As V.J. Featherstone said, "Leaders tell, but never teach, until they practice what they preach." The best leaders embody their values. Their passion exudes from every pore and demands respect.
The Best Leaders Get the Best from Their People By...
1) LISTENING
The smartest leaders realize the limitations of their wisdom, and they listen to their people in order to capture invaluable insights. However, leaders don't just listen to gain knowledge, they also listen to give their people permission: permission to challenge the process, permission to test assumptions; and permission to take risks. Nothing turns off an up-and-coming leader like the deaf ear of a superior. The best leaders don't simply listen to incoming ideas; they proactively draw them out of their people. They listen actively, not passively.
2) RELATING
Leaders touch a heart before they ask for a hand. To touch a heart, a leader has to be open to disclosing his or her identity by sharing personal stories and owning up to professional weaknesses. Mysterious or aloof leaders may be successful decision-makers, but they won't get the heartfelt loyalty that comes from authentic relationships.
As simple as it sounds, making a person feel known correlates powerfully to their job satisfaction. In fact, Patrick Lencioni lists anonymity as one of the top indicators of a miserable job. Leaders dignify their people by studying their interests, learning about their families, and finding out their hobbies. Conscious of the power of connection, the best leaders refuse to be barricaded inside of an office, and they take responsibility for relating with others on a regular basis.
3) TEACHING
Gifted teachers have a way of making students out of disinterested bystanders. The best leaders have an infectious thirst for knowledge, and they take pride in cultivating knowledge of their craft and awareness of their industry. A leader's teaching ability depends upon ongoing personal growth. As Howard Hendricks said, "If you stop growing today, you stop teaching tomorrow."
4) DEVELOPING
The best leaders understand the differences between training people for tasks and developing people to be better leaders.
Training
Developing
Focus is on the job
Adds value to specific things
Helpful for a short time
Changes a performance
Focus is on the person
Adds value to everything
Helpful for a lifetime
Change the performer
The best leaders view their people as appreciable assets and prioritize investing in the talent on their teams.
5) MOTIVATING
After one of my presentations, an audience member approached me who was visibly indignant about my speech. "Why is motivation last on the list?" he demanded. "Well," I replied, "because if you listen, relate, teach, and develop your people, then they will be motivated!"
Sustained motivation comes by creating the right environment for your people and by doing the right things consistently to nurture them. Consider a flower. It cannot grow in the Arctic; it requires a climate conducive to growth. Yet, even in the right environment, the flower must be planted in hospitable soil, exposed to sunlight, watered, and freed of weeds.
From 1996 to 2007, manager Joe Torre led the New York Yankees to the playoffs every year - winning an astounding 17 series in the post-season. Over those same 12 years, the Los Angeles Dodgers did not win a single playoff series. This past season, Torre departed New York to coach the Dodgers. The result? The Dodgers won their first post-season series in 20 years, while the Yankees missed the playoffs altogether.
Ask Yankees and Dodgers fans, and they will tell you that Joe Torre's leadership matters. However, they may not be able to tell you exactly why Joe Torre is an excellent leader. What's true of the fans in New York and Los Angeles is true for many of us. We experience the effects of leadership without understanding the cause.
In this article, I hope to make plain why the best leaders are the best leaders. In a nutshell, remarkable leaders give their best to their people, and get the best from their people. Let's look at how this happens.
The Best Leaders Give Their Best to Their People By...
1) GROWING
People naturally follow leaders they respect as being more advanced than they are. For this reason, personal growth is directly proportional to influence. If you desire to gain followers, then pay the price of getting better.
To give people your best, you have to elevate your leadership capacity. Consider the metaphor of walking up a narrow staircase - you can only go as fast as the person in front of you. When leaders stop growing, they quit climbing and impede the progress of everyone following them. However, when leaders grow, they ascend the stairs and create space for those behind them to climb higher.
Personal growth involves challenging yourself, and pushing beyond the realm of comfort. When is the last time you did something for the first time? How long has it been since you felt in over your head?
2) SERVING
"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile."
~ Albert Einstein
Serving others is an attitude issue. Unfortunately, many leaders operate under a king-of-the-hill mentality. They attempt to pull down anyone above them in order to secure the top spot for themselves. In doing so, they clutch at power, grapple for control of company resources, and strive to dominate others. Seeing relationships as win-lose propositions, they ultimately burn bridges and isolate themselves.
The best leaders take an entirely different approach. Rather than dragging down anyone who threatens their position, they extend a hand to lift the performance of teammates and coworkers. They function with a mindset of abundance as opposed to an attitude of scarcity, and they wield their influence to prop others up rather than to elevate themselves. Over time, they are honored for the contributions they have made to the lives around them.
All leaders serve. Sadly, some serve only themselves. Serving is a motives issue, and the crux of the matter boils down to a simple question: "Who?" Does a politician serve the public or his pocketbook? Does a CEO serve to benefit her shareholders or to support her lifestyle? The best leaders set a tone by serving and prove they are deserving of being out in front.
3) MODELING
Growing leaders have something to share; serving leaders have something to give; modeling leaders have something to show. As V.J. Featherstone said, "Leaders tell, but never teach, until they practice what they preach." The best leaders embody their values. Their passion exudes from every pore and demands respect.
The Best Leaders Get the Best from Their People By...
1) LISTENING
The smartest leaders realize the limitations of their wisdom, and they listen to their people in order to capture invaluable insights. However, leaders don't just listen to gain knowledge, they also listen to give their people permission: permission to challenge the process, permission to test assumptions; and permission to take risks. Nothing turns off an up-and-coming leader like the deaf ear of a superior. The best leaders don't simply listen to incoming ideas; they proactively draw them out of their people. They listen actively, not passively.
2) RELATING
Leaders touch a heart before they ask for a hand. To touch a heart, a leader has to be open to disclosing his or her identity by sharing personal stories and owning up to professional weaknesses. Mysterious or aloof leaders may be successful decision-makers, but they won't get the heartfelt loyalty that comes from authentic relationships.
As simple as it sounds, making a person feel known correlates powerfully to their job satisfaction. In fact, Patrick Lencioni lists anonymity as one of the top indicators of a miserable job. Leaders dignify their people by studying their interests, learning about their families, and finding out their hobbies. Conscious of the power of connection, the best leaders refuse to be barricaded inside of an office, and they take responsibility for relating with others on a regular basis.
3) TEACHING
Gifted teachers have a way of making students out of disinterested bystanders. The best leaders have an infectious thirst for knowledge, and they take pride in cultivating knowledge of their craft and awareness of their industry. A leader's teaching ability depends upon ongoing personal growth. As Howard Hendricks said, "If you stop growing today, you stop teaching tomorrow."
4) DEVELOPING
The best leaders understand the differences between training people for tasks and developing people to be better leaders.
Training
Developing
Focus is on the job
Adds value to specific things
Helpful for a short time
Changes a performance
Focus is on the person
Adds value to everything
Helpful for a lifetime
Change the performer
The best leaders view their people as appreciable assets and prioritize investing in the talent on their teams.
5) MOTIVATING
After one of my presentations, an audience member approached me who was visibly indignant about my speech. "Why is motivation last on the list?" he demanded. "Well," I replied, "because if you listen, relate, teach, and develop your people, then they will be motivated!"
Sustained motivation comes by creating the right environment for your people and by doing the right things consistently to nurture them. Consider a flower. It cannot grow in the Arctic; it requires a climate conducive to growth. Yet, even in the right environment, the flower must be planted in hospitable soil, exposed to sunlight, watered, and freed of weeds.
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